Expensive Habits

     On my recent flight down to Dallas,Texas, I sat behind four young ladies. Being rather cramped quarters, I couldn't help but overhear their constant chattering throughout the entire ride. In fact, one girl talked so incessantly that these three words continuously looped inside my brain; SHUTUP,SHUTUP,SHUTUP! All four girls were dresses well and each one was adorned with slightly excessive jewelry. It turned out they were staying at the same hotel as me and they were there for a jewelry convention. I joked with every new crew that hopped onto an elevator with me, always asking if they were there for the jewelry contest. They would all laugh as they clinked and clanked leaving the elevator sounding like one of them was always on the verge of loosing a hubcap. Tom cats in the alleys of New York get boiling water "chrown on 'em" for making a racket like that!
     The girls on the plane had three ring binders, with spread sheets and highlighted maps, showing every store they intended to hit, searching for jewelry like they were gonna quit making it the next day. I popped two more Alive cause my neck hurt from shaking so much. I haven't rolled my eyes that much since those humming birds got into my kitchen at the cottage. Heck, I might have given myself a detached rhetna. I have not heard a girl talk about, "ME ME ME ME ME" that much since Gina Underwood caught her hair on fire at the 4th of July picnic back in "81! All I could think about was, "will that be cash or charge"? Somewhere I imagine Zha Zha Gabore, hovering 2 feet off the ground, following the girls on their frantic jewelry escapade, giving the Arsenio Hall,fist pump, yelling, "You go girls".
     On my flight home I experienced the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Two U.S. Marshals were transporting a prisoner. He was wearing a chunk of jewelry, he couldn't shake. In fact, he wasn't flaunting it, he dug his hands under the bottom,front of his jacket.Unlike the ladies, he got his bracelets first, he hasn't paid for them yet. I shook my head, but much slower. I don't know who's jewelry cost more, either way, I hope I never do.